Thursday, December 27, 2007

Early New Year's Resolutions

Every year I make a list of things to better myself. An insane list of goals that I never achieve. In fact, once I write the list, I never look at it again. This year I am posting it on this blog so I can refer back to it and check off things when I complete them. I am also being very specific as to what I would like to accomplish. I want 2008 to be a good year and a year I can be proud of myself. Some goals are weightloss and running related, some are not. I may as well advertise all my good intentions for 2008!

To Do in 2008
1. Run the San Antonio Rock and Roll Marathon November 16, 2008.
We chose this race because it looks like a lot of fun with all the music. Plus it is the inaugural race and it is in a warmer city than Minneapolis in November.

2. Get to goal weight
It is about time that I shed this extra poundage and keep it off.

3. Finish my photography course and start charging for jobs.
I have gotten 3 extensions on this class and it is time to finish. Also, enough of the freebie photo shoots. I could have a very profitable PT job if I stop giving my time and talent away.

4. Read 8 books.
Why 8? I don't know, just sounded like a good number. I only read a few minutes before bed so that might be a big goal.

5. Prepare a meal plan and cook at home more.
I am the queen of take out and fast food. I am embarrassed to admit that I just threw away a garbage bag full of McDonald's toys. I am going to plan, shop, and cook at least 4 nights a week.


This will be the year that I complete all things I set out to do.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!


I can't believe it is almost over. Christmas seemed to come really quick this year. It has been a crazy couple of weeks. I wish I could say that I have been running, but I have not. I ended up running myself ragged with the holidays. I just was not very organized this time around so I ended up doing twice the work.


Considering I was already run down and had a cold, I decided to just say to hell with it and enjoy the holidays fat chick style. I didn't exercise or eat one proper meal. I let myself indulge without guilt. I had a really good time with my family and friends. Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to get back on the wagon. I have six months to get into my skinny wardrobe. I think I see a New Year's Resolution list in my future!


On a much more serious note, I re-read my "Ba Humbug" post below and realized that my problems are small in the big scheme of things. I am lucky that my problems are just minor annoyances. Unfortunately I was just reminded of how not to take life for granted and not to stress about the insignificant details. A woman that I know lost her fight with cancer and passed away this past weekend. She left behind 3 young children and a husband. She was only in her 30's. It is sad that it takes something like that to put things into perspective.


I can't complain if weight is one of my only battles in life.....I have the the ability to do something about it.




Friday, December 14, 2007

Bah Humbug!

That kind of sums up my attitude today.

The only running I am going to be doing is running more errands. School, Christmas shopping, and grocery store. I normally get excited about the Christmas shopping, but this year I can't get into it. I do all the shopping for everyone, I do the idea searching, the hunting, the wrapping and delivering. I guess I would call myself a Grinch this year because I am sick of being the only one in my family to spread the holiday cheer.

My house was a disaster area and that made the morning routine into a screaming fest. Nobody had no clean clothes, the dishes where piled up, and there clutter everywhere. There is nothing more disheartening than waking up to a home that looks like it was bombed. I know what I will be doing all weekend.

I have been fighting off a cold for months. I have been taking vitamins and Airborne like crazy. I think my body is ready to give it up and just be sick. I woke up this morning with "sexy phlegm voice" and a smoker's cough. Like clockwork, the beginning stages of my annual upper respiratory infection has begun.

Preschool was a nightmare today. It was the weekly parent day and the kids' holiday party. I was is irritated with my oldest son. I am sure he was just excited about the party, but he seriously just did whatever the hell he wanted. He listened to no one and was literally bouncing off the walls. I felt like such a schmuck in front of all those other parents because he was so obnoxious. Military school looks good at this point.

These are the days I need the release of a good run the most. I am even considering running sick in the dark, sub-zero weather just for a little peace and quiet. But I am not going to, I am going to hand the kids off to my husband and pour a stiff drink.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrripppppp.....

is the sound that my pants made this morning when I bent over. Thank GOD they didn't rip all the way, but I can totally see where the seam busted in the ass.

This happened just as I was thinking how good I felt about being on plan since Monday. This was even after my workout today. The powers above have a way of keeping one's ego in check. This incident alone was enough to keep me away from the orgasmic gingerbread at Caribou.

I worked out on the dreadmill 2 times this week. Tuesday was pretty good, I ran 6 minute intervals at a 6.0 or faster (that is fast for me). Today's workout wasn't so great. I did one 5 minute interval at 6.2 then I had to walk the rest of the time. My hip and knee felt kind of funky. The last thing I need right now is an injury to sideline me before I get started.

At least I got up to go....right?

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Return of a Weight Watcher Reject

Today I dug out my Weight Watchers materials and I am unofficially back on the plan. If I continue to eat as I have been, I will need a rescue team and a crane to get me out of my house.

I should be going to meetings, but I am not. The truth is, paying the $40 bucks a month doesn't motivate me enough to stick to the plan. I literally would be throwing my money away.....as I did for 2 years.

Don't get me wrong, Weight Watchers is by far the best weight loss program, but like any bad habit that needs changing, your heart has to be in it. I was lazy on the program and that is why I never reached my goal. Plain and simple.

As I mentioned below, I am focusing on small changes. I know myself so well that if I have too many new things I will have set backs and I chalk it up as a total failed attempt. Changing one or two things at a time is more realistic for me.

Another reason why I failed on WW, was because of how I viewed the program. I know it is a lifestyle change and I chose to only focus on the diet part. This time I am going in with the attitude that is how I have to live my entire life and not just while I am trying to lose weight. I have a realistic expectation this time around.

Regarding my running, I am bumping up my expectation a bit. My goal is to be able to run non stop 3 miles and I feel I can get to that goal in a month. It is so frustrating to have to start running from scratch. Last year at this time I could run several miles. It is amazing how hard it is to build up the mileage and how quickly you can lose it.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

A New Baby!!

Today my best friend gave birth to a very cute and healthy baby girl. I am very excited as my baby girl is 3 months old and they will grow up together.

The arrival of this baby means that my friend is no longer pregnant. Now that she is no longer pregnant, that means that I have to get with the program because she will be back to her size 6 skinny little ass in no time. I don't want to continue to be the fat friend, but I have to say that I really enjoyed her pregnancy and how easy it was to talk her into eating junk food. Sadly, I am the one who gained the weight.

It serves me right to pack on the sympathy weight because I secretly wished she would gain 80 lbs with this baby. She didn't and she looks fantastic!! That is life.

Monday, December 3, 2007

RED ALERT, RED ALERT!

200 lbs!

I was hovering under that number for so long and now I have hit it. Am I shocked? No. I have been stuffing my face constantly. Am I upset? Yes. But I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. My "give a damn" is out the window. I have to start getting serious as I have NO clothes to wear.

So as I sit here in TIGHT workout pants, I am coming up with ways to make my goals realistic and attainable. Part of my problem is that I have so many bad habits that I want to change them all at once. That doesn't work for me. If I start failing in one area; I fail in the whole thing. My new mantra will be small changes.

This week's goals:
Water, Water, Water
Journal
Workout 4 times. (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday)

Saturday, December 1, 2007

5K Hurray!

Ok, I know it is crazy to even think about doing a 5K in the shape that I am in. I did it because it was a fun run and not a race. No pressure. It is one race that I strive to do every year because i is so fun.

It was crazy cold outside and snowing heavily. There were THOUSANDS of runners braving the elements. Old & young, runners & walkers, dogs & kids....you name it and they were there. It is great to see so many people excited about this run.

I wasn't able to run the whole thing but I ran a good portion of Lake Harriet. I pushed it as long as I could before my weak body told me to stop. Since it was a fun run I ditched out of the last half mile of the race and walked to my car. Ironically my car was a lot farther out than the finish line.

I ended the Reindeer Run with a Bloody Mary breakfast at Herkimers. Life is good. I can't wait until next years run!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Fast Food Again...

Seriously, what is wrong with me? I had a 1000 calorie (at least) dinner at 8:30 tonight. Rather than cooking a proper meal, I sent my husband out for Wendy's. It didn't even taste good. Why do I eat things that don't taste good?

Tomorrow is another day at the gym. My 30 minutes on the treadmill should burn of 1/10 of my dinner. I truly need to do something about my eating habits. I am really out of control.

I am starting fresh tomorrow. I am setting the bar pretty low so I can achieve a goal. I will drink at least 64oz of water and I will workout.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

After a busy week, I was finally able to get out for my quick (if you can call 45 minutes quick) 3 mile loop. I am in the miserable part of being so out of shape. My body hurts all over and I feel like my body is made out of lead. I am trying to imagine what life will be like when I actually *like* running again. Right now it is a form of torture.

On a a good note...I survived Thanksgiving and my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary party without gaining weight. My husband had a stomach virus and left me holding the bag as a single parent for these events. I was ready to kill him even though he could not help being sick. Chasing kids and sitting down to eat a meal just does not mix well. Even though these events were not very relaxing, I was happy that I didn't have a huge jump on the scale.

I did not get the chance to run the Turkey Day 5k because of my husband's virus. I hope it doesn't catch up with me next weekend for the Reindeer Run.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Day 2, I LOVE RUNNING!!!!

I am clearly in the honeymoon phase of running. I got up at 6:30 and voluntarily put my running shoes on, grabbed my ipod, and headed out to do my workout. Normally I would procrastinate and whine about doing any form of excercise. Today I was happy to get out there. I give myself another week before the bitterness of being out of shape sets in.

Today was so peaceful. I left my house with a sleeping baby, a husband still in bed, and two little boys who were content watching their Saturday morning cartoons. The streets were quiet and there was a light snowfall. It was actually really pretty. To add to my Zen-like state, I blared my G&N and Whitesnake and headed off. Life is good.

I did the 2.8 mile loop and actually was able to jog most of it. I felt pretty good but my body is incredibly weak. The pregnancy really took its toll on my old body. I hope the physical therapy I doing will get me stronger quicker because I am tired of being laid up. I am willing to bet that tomorrow I will be sore. That fact that I am already waddling should be a good clue.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Day one

My co-worker and I decided to start running again. Our ultimate goal is to complete a marathon in November 2008. Both of us are in sad sorry shape. To make sure I was ready to start I got my self a gym membership, new running shoes, and new clothes that cover the post partum flap and rolls. I was ready to get started.

Alarm blew that morning at 5:00 AM, I rolled over hit snooze and slept until 6:30. Shit! Already off to a *wonderful* start. I raced around the house throwing stuff in my bags because heaven forbid that I am ready the night before.

I got to work, and emailed my co-worker an apology email for oversleeping and not meeting her. I told her I would do the workout tonight. She maybe a military gal, but she is easy going and laid back. She was fine with it. But I have a feeling I will not get off so easy next time.

Since I decided to workout than evening instead, I went out to get coffee. To celebrate the couch to marathon kickoff day, I indulged in the gingerbread at Caribou. OMG!!!!!! Who knew that food could make you moan. I had a full blown foodgasm. I wasn't even ashmed when I got busted licking the pastry paper. I bet that cake alone was 1000 calories. It didn't matter, I was working out after work. Lunch and dinner were not any better....Taco Johns and Wendy's. It was definately triple threat thursday having fast food for all three meals. mmmmmm....I wonder why I am fat.

Finally....I am ready to run. I started out at 7:30 pm and began at a slow jog. My first thought was this really isn't too bad. Then I hit the second block. I was winded and my legs cramped up. I walked the third block, then ran two more, walked one, and so on. In total I went 1.2 miles and was out for 25 minutes.

It is amazing how a body can change over time. Last year at this time, I was probably close the best shape of my life. A baby, 2 major surgeries, and 30lbs later....here I am starting from scratch. The flap that hangs off of my midsection formerly know as my stomach sway from side to side and the junk in my trunk jiggles like a bowl full of jelly. With every step I take, I wonder if I will ever get to where I was the year before.

It felt so good to be out there again. I love the feeling of the cool night air and how it makes your cheeks rosy. I love that I can only hear my own panting and the pounding of my feet rather than screeching kids. I may have a long journey ahead of me, but today I took the first steps.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Fat Girl Running!

What is one more blog about running? This blog is my place to rave, vent, and track my progress with training and my weight loss (hoping there will be some).

Once upon a time, I was a skinny girl who loved to run. I ran cross country and track in high school...and I have to admit, I wasn't have bad when I trained. Then came college, where my new love was eating pizza and drinking beer. It didn't take long for the scale to jump to numbers I never thought I was see.

I might have been a decent runner in high school, but I was not even close to being good enough to compete at the Big 10 level. I ran here and there, but it was an episode of Seinfeld that made me hang up my running shoes. I don't remember when I heard it, but he stated,
"You go to the health club, you see all these people and they’re working out; they’re training, they’re getting in shape. But nobody’s really getting in shape for anything. In modern society, you really don’t have to be physically strong to do anything."

He had a point, So I closed the door on running or any sort of fitness for that matter.

Fast Forward to 2001. The scale is now well above 200lbs. I got a phone call from my high school friend and she tried talking me into running the Twin Cities Marathon. Me, I am always up for a challenge, so I accepted. I did it!!!! I finished and I finished 20 minutes before they shut down the course!

I call myself the fat runner because I don't look like a "typical" runner. I don't have washboard abs or weigh 120lbs. I am tall, pushing 2 bills, I am armed with DD boobs and a 2 digit pant size. Someday, I may know what it is like to thin and fit. But for now, I am the fat girl running.