Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Adventures in WalMart and Other Junk

It is no secret, Walmart sucks. Walmart especially sucks by my house. I can't imagine there being a worse one in the country. This store is dirty, unorganized, and staffed with the rudest people on the planet. Even though I am supposed to be morally concious and not shop there, I am guilty for giving Sam Walton my hard earned money from time to time. What Walmart *IS* good for is some of the best people watching that I have ever seen. I always leave with a good story or two.

The following occurred last night between 6pm and 7pm.
1. The cross-eyed clerk that spoke with a lisp working in the video department was discussing movie choices with a customer and told this person their choice was "sthupid and retarded". I couldn't help but giggle.

2. While in line at the self check out, I was behind 2 carts full of groceries. GO TO A REAL LANE! Those lines were backed up to the high heavens as well. Then when it came time to pay for all the groceries they fed the machine what seemed like 5's and 1's.

3. I got stuck behind the slowest moving people that were arguing in Spanish and I could not get around them. I think they were discussing something about the husband staring at a half dressed teen in muffin top showing low riders in health and beauty. I could be wrong as my Spanish has gotten a little rusty.

4. When I pulled up to the store there was a woman screaming at her kids from the parking lot as they were coming out of the store. She was about 9 months pregnant, wearing a t-shirt with BABY written on it and an arrow pointing down, and she was smoking.

5. Three. The number of dirty diapers I saw on my way into the store.

6. The best story.....
While looking for a folder in the school supply aisle, there was a guy about 5 feet away from me. He literally lifted his leg and FARTED!!!!!!!!!!! It was a cheek flapper not some silent slip. He just went about his business. I said "What the ...." and I was out of there!

I AM happy to report that my son, who turns 6 today will be a proud owner of 2 new Ben 10 action figures. If he only knew what his momma does for him. *sigh* Seriously one cannot make this stuff up!

Now for the other junk...
I am EXHAUSTED! This past weekend we had 3 birthday parties. Party #1 was for crazy son #2. We went to Chuck E. Cheese and tore up the joint! The next party was in the evening for my brother-in-law's family. We have seven kids between the 2 families and 6 have birthdays within a couple of weeks of one another. (I told you...MN has REALLY cold Novembers.) For the final party, my first born had his friend bash in our backyard. What started out as 6 kids morphed into 13 kiddos. Miller time started early that day.

My little clowns
Needless to say, I haven't been working out or eating healthy. Back on track today. Unfortunately, my August goals are not off to a stellar start.



17 comments:

Kelly said...

LMAO @ the guy who lifted his leg! Gah! I hate Walmart

Stace said...

Way too funny! Just reading about Walmart makes me feel like I have fleas. I am so glad you made your son happy after such a major sacrifice!

Dawn said...

Oh, that's just funny. The horrors of Wal-Mart.

I don't get Ben 10. I still think "real cartoons" are like Tom & Jerry & Roadrunner. My son also likes Ben 10 too. oh well.

Anonymous said...

If I was a Dentist I would open up a store in Walmart instead of the Optical stores they have.

-jay Zass

AKA Alice said...

OMG...LMAO...I F-ing HAAAATE Walmart. I've seen/heard/smelled just about EVERYTHING you described. I absolutely refuse to go in there, unless, like you, I have a REALLY good reason to...but every single time, it's a scene.

I did have to buy my WiiFit online...it just killed me, but I HAD TO HAVE IT!

Running Knitter said...

LOL
I can't believe the guy farted!

Mark Salinas said...

I can honestly say that Wal-Mart has never met my feet...am I lucky? :)

Andrew is getting fit said...

My wife is wondering why I'm snorting my breakfast out my nose now.

Cheek flapper!

Marcy said...

OMFG Carly!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA And I thought OUR WM was BAD! Oooh Good Lord! I can't even remember the last time I shopped there. The whole $5 I save is NOT worth it, although you've made me think . . .maybe the next time I go I'll bring my camera :P

Lily on the Road said...

I refuse to shop at Walmart!! LMAO at your stories...gah, the guy who farted...WTF!!!

Happy birthday, little one, hope you have a great BD!!

MaryFran said...

Love your Walmart stories! The place is just the pits! When we absolutely have to visit the store, my husband will walk out under those blowers at the door, hold his hands up and say (very loudly) prepare for defumigation.

August may not have started as steller as you would have preferred, but you recognize that, which means that you can change the course that you were heading. Good luck!

Jade Lady said...

I think some of these reasons are why I don't make it to walmart that often. I used to think Target was like that - but it's much nicer - well, except for the bathrooms at or near closing time.

TriJenPB said...

Yeah Walmart is the same down here. You're right though, you just can't make that stuff up!
Much prefer Tar-get (insert fake French accent here). At least they do a descent job keeping the store clean and the filth out ;)

RooBabs said...

I guess I'm just lucky, because my Wal-Mart is brand new (well, as of last Sept), and for the most part it's pretty clean. I will admit that there are some pretty weird folk there most of the time (especially the Sunday afternoon crowd- oy!).

Love the stories, though, and here's to getting back on track.

Shosh said...

Found your blog on AKA Alice's and I am so glad I did.

You're description of Wal-Mart make me laugh out loud in my office, thank goodness the door was closed. Some people really have no clue.

I will be back here for sure. Enjoy your day!

thebets said...

LOL...oh my! I usually call several friends when I get home from WM and give them permission to beat me senseless if I ever tell them I'm going there again.

Tammy said...

Nope, I don't go to Wal-Mart. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been there this year, and I will NOT go back! UGH! I'd rather spend more money elsewhere.

You have plenty of time to get back on track in August, if you start now...