Monday, December 7, 2009

Unintentional Hiatus

I can't believe it has been almost two weeks since my last post.  I think I have started a new post at least 20 times but could not string words together to make sense.  What has been going on?  Nothing.  I am fighting some winter bug that has me coughing and sleeping a lot.

Thanksgiving was nice.  We spent it with my inlaws (see post below).  Although we had a great time, sometimes I wonder if cameras are going to pop out and I am going to end up on COPS or Springer.  The food was good and I did well in the portion control arena (probably because I am allergic to everything served).

My Weight Watchers meeting on that Saturday following Thanksgiving was by far my lowest point.  I have hit my all time highest point on the scale.  I was recaping the weigh-in to my mother on the phone and she started snickering and commented that Weight Watchers just isn't working for me.  I was about to hop on the defensive but saw the humor in it.  She wasn't being a bitch, she just knows me.  Deep down, I feel that if I pay for it and go to meetings that the weight will fall off.  I have been paying for this service for 15 months only to be heavier than when I started.  I am the target market for Weight Watchers.  I should win some sort of award for long time on the program without losing any weight.

I know the program works.  I know all the tricks and tips.  I understand calories in vs. calories out.  I get that I need to exercise and drink lots of water.  I know this and it normally isn't painful for me to do.  I can't find my Mojo and hang on to it lately.


My inner Oprah was channelled* and had my "Ahhhh Haaaa" moment. 

Stress sends me running for Doritos (Duh, I already knew that).

But what am I stressed about???  Why am I in a funk?

Thankfully I am truly blessed and I don't have REAL problems (knocking on wood as I type this).  It is the everyday things that are building up my anxiety lowering my desire to do anything active.  I am overwhelmed at work, I am overwhelmed at home.  Driving the kids around town to get them to school while they fight in the backseat of the car.  Living on a much tighter budget.  Meal planning, fitting in exercise, fitting in friends....blah, blah, blah....list list continues.  It is normal life but I still feel like I am adjusting to going back to work.  Santa, if you are reading this, a bottle of vodka and some Xanax tops my Christmas list (half kidding).

Anyway, this post is not all doom and gloom.  I feel like now that I know what I am up against I can work with it.  I am sticking with Weight Watchers but I most definitely need to find a better way to cope with my stress (uhhhh Running, maybe doing it instead of typing about it would help).  I know I have typed similar posts in the past and I am well aware that I sound like a broken record.  What is that saying....If at first you don't succeed......

*For the record, I like Oprah cause you can tell when she is having a rough time cause she gets chubby.  Otherwise I am not much of a fan....

16 comments:

Marci said...

I can totally relate to this post, keep sticking with it. I think recognizing trigger points is key.

lindsay said...

i hear you on the everyday-life-stressors running you down! i thought i was one of the only ones and that everyone else just handles it so much better... they definitely just DRAIN me and make me a little moody too sometimes.

sorry to hear you are being bogged down too but it's a little comforting to know that not everyone out there lives in "stepford wives" town! hang in there and hope you can sort everything out.

teacherwoman said...

Life in general is a big stressor. Sorry to hear about the ups and downs with WW. I have to constantly remind myself that if I eat or drink something not so healthy for me, not to get hung up on it. Far too many times, people will say, I will eat better tomorrow, or starting Monday...but for me, it works to start fresh right away. Does this make sense, or am I rambling? Don't answer that. LOL

April said...

Just found your blog. I am so with you on Oprah! Don't really care for her except the reality of her weight. She is truly every woman who struggles with emotional eating! I just wrote a post this morning about my own struggle.
I am excited to continue reading about your journey.

Jess said...

For one thing, you should cut yourself some slack: You have 3 young children, you work full time, and you always seem to have a billion other extra-curricular activites, so the fact that you're not just mumbling to yourself and staring off into space is AMAZING.

Certainly, learning to avoid treating stress by eating is smart, but maybe you also need to just carve out a piece of time each day for rest and relaxation. That could be just as healthy as skipping the Doritos.

Heather said...

I think you're right - realizing that stress is a trigger is a huge step towards making better choices. As for reducing stress, ever consider duct taping the kids' mouths shut? I do it all the time and it really works. :)

Carolina John said...

i think if the ww/running combo has been failing you mentally (if not physically as well) then you need to make a change. I've plateu'd the tri power workouts so i'm going to switch it up after new year's.

give cycling a try? it's faster, no impact on your joints, and it's a fantastic weight loss cardio workout. i'm sure you can find a stationary bike to hop on every now and then. just something to think about.

Megan said...

My older sister didn't loose weight with Weight Watchers either. I found the constant counting annoying and I do math for a living. You gotta find what works for you.

X-Country2 said...

Knowing is half the battle. Now, go get 'em!

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother said...

Awareness is the first step. You got this sister!!

Aka Alice said...

Oh sister...I am so with you (and echoing Jess's comments to cut yourself some slack)...

That being said, I know that I too need to figure out my diet so that I don't stress eat, or more often, don't have time to stop and have a regular meal, so then I get home, starved, eat 1/2 my body weight in whatever I can shove in my mouth as I cook dinner AND I eat dinner...GAH!

Anyway, tonight Walter told me that if it would help he'd agree to run a 1/2 marathon with me if I lost 20 lbs (as if that's all I need to lose, but whatever)...Cute, huh?

Anonymous said...

I see some Neuroreplete in your future!!!!

D10 said...

We al deal with stress differently. However, now that you know what you want to change you will. Hang in there!

Staci Dombroski said...

Love the Christmas list :-) I am feeling the same way lately with full time working, kids, running, and everyday life!

Megsie said...

Hey, you must have stepped into my boat! I started a yoga class last week, but yesterday was an all-binge day. Can you say "anything in sight?" Even the leftover chicken nuggets, which I would usually not even LOOK AT were consumed...and they are disgusting. Gross. Overwhelmed is a good way to put it. Hang in there!

Lily on the Road said...

Everyday stress is a killer, take it easy on yourself and put down that bag of Dorito's!!!

You are so busy Carly and you've had so many changes this year...just take one day at a time...

{{{hugs}}}