Thursday, September 30, 2010

Thoughts of a Nervous Nelly

  • Peanuts and candycorn....what a perfect why to carbo load 5 days before a big race.
  • I probably should not have had this for dinner washed down with a beer.
  • No, I am pretty sure I am stress eating because I ate my weight in that stuff.
  • This race will be  "mind over matter" and I should not be obsessing.
  • I hope this mind over matter has a better outcome than that time I jumped out of bed after an epidural.  Note to self:  Mind over matter thinking does not overcome some drugs.
  • If I a break down the race into numbers, I have 6 hours to finish, I have to maintain a 13:44 mile and that breaks down to 4.46 MPH. 
  • I think I can do that with my run walk combo and if I fizzle out, I should be able to crawl it in.
  • I think i need a paper bag.
  • I think I am thinking too much.
  • What do I have to be stressed about?  I am only running a marathon with as little training as possible and I am photographing a big wedding all within 48 hours.
  • Really?  I decided to photograph a wedding the same weekend as the marathon.  I am just looking for a heart attack.
  • At least I have an awesome play list to help me cope with all of this craziness.
  • I am a bit obsessed with iTunes at the moment.  I am finding so many songs that bring back the memories from college.  You bet your ass I am down with O.P.P.
  • I said I was going to bed 4 hours ago and now I have to get up in 4.5 hours.  Gah!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Midnight Monday's Mind Dump

Life Stuff

I have to confess, the school issue that I last wrote about is consuming me.  I have been laying awake at night going over the "what ifs".  When I pick up the kids from school it is the only thing people are chatting about.  I am certainly not alone in worry, wondering where our kids are going to go to school next year if our school changes and we are not able to go back.

Today I decided I am not going to worry anymore.  It is not doing me any good, the frustration is causing my stomach to hurt and it is making depressed.  Plus I have a tendency to be a bit OCD and with this issue on the front burner, I seem to be able to weave it into any conversation. (I would like to apologize to the cashier at Target for answering her "how are you question").  I do not have any control over the situation.  I have done my part and will continue to do so but we all know that the school board will have the final say.  My kids will get educated and that is all that matters.  For all I know, things may not change for me and I am worrying for nothing.  So I am chosing not to worry.

(what running?)

Seriously, I haven't run for awhile.  I am in for a whole lot of punishment when I toe the line of that marathon on Sunday.  Minimal training, anyone?   The only way I will not finish is if I drop dead on the course (which Chubby Hubby is slightly fearful of this) or if the SAG wagon is on my ass.  This is certainly not the way I wanted this race to go, but I am going to make the most of it and make it FUN!!!!  I have been getting great words of wisdom and my favorite on was "Your body can do the race, it is just a matter of how much pain you want to put it through".  Love it.  I don't care if I am laid up for a month, I will finish.

My girlfriend who is flying in on Wednesday, got a special marathon pedicure.  BWAH!  They are certainly festive!  I told her my special marathon pedi was going to be all black toes so I could freak out all of the medics that I will probably encounter.

I am currently up WAY TOO LATE downloading songs from iTunes.  I am making the mother of all marathon play lists.  My music choices may have sunk to a new low because I have stolen a few of my kids favorites (**cough cough** Camp Rock and Phineas and Ferb???!!!).  I am putting songs together that I know get me moving.  I can't have just one genre.....I need to keep it fresh.  Something needs to keep me going. Besides the tween music, I have some Billy Joel, Flo Rida, Rihanna, Kid Rock, ELO, Lady Gaga, and of course I added the Minnesota Rouser for good luck (although that song is not helping our Gopher football team).  I am even tempted to splurge for a new iPod since my shuffle is hit or miss and I killed Chubby Hubby's iPod.  I will have to post the entire list when I have it done....I am going to need 1000 songs to keep me amused for 6 hours.

Save the Cheese!
Speaking of favorite Lounge Act is in trouble.  He is a party favorite and I will be very sad if he hangs up recording.  Oh yeah.....he has a spot on my playlist too.  My fav is Baby Got Back.

A Note From the Cheese Himself.....
Dear Richard Cheese Fans:

I am sorry to say that I have bad news.

According to our accountant, unless we sell 2,500 more "OK Bartender" CDs, we won't have enough money to record any more music for you.

Please help by getting your friends to lounge against the machine with us at or iTunes, so we can fund the recording of more albums.

Getting new fans to support our band financially at and iTunes means more jobs, more wages, and more music for everyone.

Please do you what you can to help spread the cheese.

Thanks sincerely.


Other Life Stuff
Football, Dance, CCD, and Hockey.  Goodbye life.  I vowed I would never be one to have my kids' activities take over the calendar.  I am eating those words.....they OWN the calendar.  I am wondering what the hell happened to kid sports that only was one day a week???  I am not complaining (yet).

They enjoy it and it will make our winter fly by.

Thanks for reading my mind dump as I try not to lose it before Sunday!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Three Things Thursday....A Day Early

1.  School is in full swing.  We have started our 3rd week.  I am finding my groove with the work/kid schedule but I am having a hard time finding my workout mojo.  After a long day of work and shuffling kids to their various activities, the last thing I want to do is put on my workout clothes.  At this point, late evening is the only option I have to get some exercise.  I just need to butch up and do it.  At least I can justify my recent slacking and call it a taper....right?

2.  With the school year starting, so does the drama.  Our school board will be adjusting elementary school boundaries due to enrollment shifts and disparities in the community.   They are also proposing some pretty dramatic changes to the open enrollment/transfer student policies.  Without going into too much detail, every single person in the district is going to be affected.  I understand the need for the shift in the boundaries, but I am angry that it is going to potentially tear our school apart and send families in several directions.  Our school is unique.  It is not a neighborhood is a magnet community school.  The school board is proposing that there should be a partial attendance area for our school and will be severely limit the options that parents have.  This topic has been weighing on all of our hearts and minds heavily for the past couple of weeks.  I have gone to the meetings, I have written my letters.  All we can do now is hope for the best.  Nobody tells you about these things when you have kids.

3.  Oh boy.  This marathon is coming up quick!  A week from today, my friend will be flying into Minneapolis for the race.  Around town, there are already signs for the marathon road closures.  The leaves on the trees are starting to morph from green to the beautiful shades of Fall....this race showcases how beautiful the Twin Cities really is.  I got my confirmation packet in the mail.  I am EXCITED!  I still have a healthly fear in me, but I am excited for the experience.  Ready or not, it will be here soon!!!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Weekend Wrap-Up, Wooo Hooo!

I had to throw a Wooo Hoo out there because.....

I RAN 10 MILES!!!!  Throw confetti and cue angels singing because I am celebrating.

You do not even know how happy this chubby chick is that I was able to hit double digits this past weekend.  This road to recovery has sucked and I have barely managed 2 miles.  This run gave me a bit more confidence that I still could conquer this marathon.  I really should disclose that I didn't run the whole time.  In fact, I did a 5/5 ratio.  It worked and I felt great.  I probably could cut down the walking interval to 3 minutes but I am going to stick with what works.  Funny thing is...I completed this 10 miler WAY faster than the 10 miler I ran.  Ha!

There was however one little buzz oldest son asked how far I ran.  I told him 10 miles.  He said " only have 16 more to do on top of that."  Who taught him math?  I really didn't like how he put that. 

Now that the race is less than 2 weeks away I have been having some crazy anxiety dreams about missing the race, or showing up late, or just having frozen legs.  I think that is normal but with the deck stacked against me I am having a bit more anxiety than I usually do.  I keep having to remind myself that there is nothing to stress about.  It is just a race.  If I do bad or God forbid, get picked up by the sweep bus, there will always be another race.  I am being realistic that this race will probably not be a PR.  My only goal is to get to my hard earned medal in 6 hours (or less).  Run, walk, or crawl...I will get it.  

I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on.  I have a lot of blog writing to catch up on.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

5 Minutes of Hope

Thank you for all the encouraging words regarding my last post.  I was really in a bad place when I wrote it.  It is frustrating when you work hard for something and you watch your goals go up in smoke.  Sometimes life gets in the way and things just do not go as planned.  When I put this issue into perspective it really is not a life shattering event. 

After reading your comments about the possibility of my issues being related to Anemia.  It is probably a huge part of it.  Last year I suffered from iron deficiency and I worked hard at getting my numbers back up to a normal range.   I should have have recognized the warning symptoms because I suffered a long time with it.  I just chalked it up to something else being the cause.  So long story short.....I am back on iron supplementation and I will go get my blood tested.

I was determined to cure all my problems today so I marched into the CVS on campus, accosted the Pharmacist and made her give me the strongest over the counter medicine in the store to help me.  After I gave my driver's license, fingerprints, and a DNA sample(because I might mix up a batch of meth)....I walked out of there with Zyrtec-D.  I popped one before I even got to the front of the store.  About an hour later, a miracle occurred.....I COULD HEAR!!!!  My ears popped and my head started to unclog.  I almost felt NORMAL.
Just before I set out for my run, I took a few puffs off the inhaler.  God help me if they do a drug test, I will be screwed.  Ha!  I hit the bricks and I felt great.  I ran for 10 minutes straight(and could have done more).  That is when I decided that I was going to try doing these runs as intervals.  I decided 5 minutes of running and 2 minutes of walking seemed doable.  I did 2.5 miles and finished strong.  I wasn't gasping for air and my legs felt much lighter.  My legs were a bit stiff but that is not much of a concern for me.....I just care about being able to breathe.  

Anyway, that is going to be my plan of attack for this race.  I am going to do it.  I am going to keep focused on the intervals I have set up and I am going to give it my best shot.  I do not care about time, my only goal is to cross the finish line.  If I take a turn for the worse, I have accepted that possibility that I may have to drop out.  But I have my eye on the race bling.  We will see...a lot can happen in 19 days (***screaming 19 days!?!??!****).  Tonight's run gave me a little glimmer of hope.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Weekend Wrap-Up-Pardon the Pity Party

I am sitting here trying not to be bitter and angry.  I am struggling in a HUGE way and each day that passes is one more day closer to the marathon.  It is 3 weeks from today.   I feel like this goal is becoming more unrealistic everyday.  I am pissed off and sad that my sickness setback has thrown me back to the beginning.  I have have not had a decent run since my 16 miler!!  It seems the harder I try, the worse I get.

I am not sure what is going on with me but my body just quits when I go out an run.  My lungs are still burning and my legs feel like concrete.  This weekend I ran, if you can call it that.  I didn't have any distance expectations I just wanted to go out and do it.  I ran for about 5-6 minutes at a time before my legs just stopped.  Each time I went out, my round trip mileage was around 3 miles.  My mental game was no match for my legs that could not move me.  I keep hoping that with every run, it will be the one to pull me out of whatever is going far it hasn't happened. 

I am not giving up.  Common sense might be telling me to hang it up and try again next year.  But we all know that I don't have much in the common sense department.  I am completely throwing out my training plan at this point and going to get myself to 16 miles.  If I can do 16, I may have a fighting chance.  There will be no taper.  I am just going to suck it up and deal with these shitty runs.  Really, I have nothing to lose at this point.  I just have to keep trying.

Now I am not going to be completely crazy either.  If things get much worse, I will have to pull the plug.  I will be going to the doctor again to see if I am dealing with residual effects from the infections from the last couple of weeks.  I am also going to start popping some seasonal allergy drugs to see if that makes a difference with my breathing.  This has been a horrible year for allergies and I am a chronic sufferer.  I hate taking allergy drugs but again, I will suck it up and see if it helps.

Enough of the Debbie Downer stuff.  Worrying about it is not going to make things better.  At this point, I will be doing the marathon (positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts).  On a good note, I got some new running shoes this weekend (I had to find SOME sort of silver lining)!!

I hope to pull out of this running funk ASAP.  Until then, pardon the pity party.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A Time to Remember

Photo Credit

I can't believe today is the 9 year anniversary of 9/11.  It feels like yesterday and truthfully, there isn't a day where it doesn't cross my mind.  I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday but I can recall every single detail of the horrible morning.

That day was a stark reminder that life can change in an instant and not to take anything for granted.  Today I will take time to remember those who lost their lives and take time to give thanks for all the blessings in my life.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

A Bit of Insomnia

Tonight I am experiencing a bit of insomnia.  My state of relaxation came to a screeching halt yesterday and life exploded.  At least it was good while it lasted.  New schedules and a crazy work load are weighing heavy on my mind tonight.  At least it is nothing serious.  It is almost 1AM and my racing mind woke me up.  I thought now would be the perfect time to accept a few blog awards.

The Rules:

1. Answer this question: If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

2. The second thing you have to do is, pick 6 people and give them this award. You then have to inform the person that they have gotten this award.

3. The third and final thing is, thank the person who gave you the award.

If I had the chance to go back and change one thing in my life........
This is kind of a loaded question because I would not be the charming person I am today if not for my mistakes in the past.  Everyday I think of the woulda, shoulda, couldas in different aspects of my life but I have no regrets.  With every screw-up, failure, and disappointment came with a good life lesson.  And boy did I get some great life lessons.  I am one of those people that always has to learn the hard way too.
If I had to choose ONE thing that I would have done different, I would not have hung up running after high school.  I wish I would have kept going instead of waiting 10 years to pick it up again.  I really do not know if it would have made the outcome of my life any better or worse but who knows....

Thank you to Little Fruit Fly for giving me this award!  I am flattered by the tag.  Since it is almost 1AM, I am taking the lame route and tagging anyone who reads this.  I love reading people's responses but I am being too lazy to tag specific people (plus how do I choose???).

Next I would like to thank Charbelle at Ramblings for the next award.

The rules are:
1. Thank the blogger that awarded you.
2. Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five words.
3. Pass it on to 10 other blogs that you feel have real substance.

My blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience:

1.  Lighthearted
2.  Honest
3.  Documentary
4.  Self-Improvement
5. Accountability

There you have it.  Again....I am taking the lame route and tagging everyone.  It is too hard to choose just 10 blogs (and that it is almost 1AM).  Thank you again to Charbelle for tagging me. 

I think midnight blogging may have done the trick....I am ready to crawl back into bed and my mind has settled down.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


I am home!  Florida was wonderful!  Six days away was just what the doctor ordered.  The ocean air and my almost comatose state of relaxation seemed to kick the bug I was fighting.  By the end of my stay, I was feeling almost 100%.  This trip was the perfect way to say good-bye to Summer.  I don't think I could ever get sick of hearing the Atlantic waves crash into the beach.

I wasn't completely lazy the entire time I was gone.  In fact, I named this trip "Fat Camp" because I did a good share of working out while I was here.  I worked out enough to lose 6lbs (probably water since I was  a sweat factory).  The three ladies that were my travel companions earned the nickname "The Miss Fits" because they are in FABULOUS shape!  We would hit the beach for a morning walk and it wouldn't take long before all I saw were their footprints in the sand ahead of me.  They effortlessly glided over the sand at an impressive speed without breaking a sweat.  I huffed and puffed (and kind of wished for death) behind them but finished strong.  That sand walking is a great workout!  Certainly one I am not used to doing.  I also made sure I carved out some time for running.  Because of the heat I hit the treadmill and was able to run for one whole mile without stopping.  Trust me....that is a HUGE improvement from where I was prior to the trip. **I am not stressing out over the marathon**

The rest of the trip was spend floating in the pool, reading, and going to bed early.  I am quite the party animal.  We did see a celebrity while we were out to dinner.....OK maybe not, but this dude really looks a lot like Rod Stewart and he looked like he was signing an autograph.  But alas, it was just a guy with really crazy hair.

Now I am home.  The kids started school again today and we are back to creating a routine.  It is 40 degrees cooler here today than it was yesterday in Florida and I am FREEZING!  Although, it is a good day for running so there is no complaining from me.  I hope to catch up on blog reading and commenting tonight.

Saturday, September 4, 2010