Sunday, September 12, 2010

Weekend Wrap-Up-Pardon the Pity Party

I am sitting here trying not to be bitter and angry.  I am struggling in a HUGE way and each day that passes is one more day closer to the marathon.  It is 3 weeks from today.   I feel like this goal is becoming more unrealistic everyday.  I am pissed off and sad that my sickness setback has thrown me back to the beginning.  I have have not had a decent run since my 16 miler!!  It seems the harder I try, the worse I get.

I am not sure what is going on with me but my body just quits when I go out an run.  My lungs are still burning and my legs feel like concrete.  This weekend I ran, if you can call it that.  I didn't have any distance expectations I just wanted to go out and do it.  I ran for about 5-6 minutes at a time before my legs just stopped.  Each time I went out, my round trip mileage was around 3 miles.  My mental game was no match for my legs that could not move me.  I keep hoping that with every run, it will be the one to pull me out of whatever is going on.....so far it hasn't happened. 

I am not giving up.  Common sense might be telling me to hang it up and try again next year.  But we all know that I don't have much in the common sense department.  I am completely throwing out my training plan at this point and going to get myself to 16 miles.  If I can do 16, I may have a fighting chance.  There will be no taper.  I am just going to suck it up and deal with these shitty runs.  Really, I have nothing to lose at this point.  I just have to keep trying.

Now I am not going to be completely crazy either.  If things get much worse, I will have to pull the plug.  I will be going to the doctor again to see if I am dealing with residual effects from the infections from the last couple of weeks.  I am also going to start popping some seasonal allergy drugs to see if that makes a difference with my breathing.  This has been a horrible year for allergies and I am a chronic sufferer.  I hate taking allergy drugs but again, I will suck it up and see if it helps.

Enough of the Debbie Downer stuff.  Worrying about it is not going to make things better.  At this point, I will be doing the marathon (positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts).  On a good note, I got some new running shoes this weekend (I had to find SOME sort of silver lining)!!

I hope to pull out of this running funk ASAP.  Until then, pardon the pity party.

17 comments:

Charbelle said...

I woke up yesterday morning and laid in bed and contemplated not running my half. Then I sucked it up and ran. I'm struggling big time and I'm only running a half. I hope the doctor and the allergy meds help!!! Yay for new running shoes!!!

daysrun said...

Not that it is a good thing, but I ran my first marathon after having only one long run of 16 miles. It took me almost 6 hours and I felt like hell the last 4 miles. Right now though you need to get out of your head and back into the running. It's 90% physical and 10% mental at this point in your training. You're switching over to the mental part too soon. Okay? You do need to have at least one week of tapering before the race - more mental stuff, I know it's hard. If my toochas can do it, you can too!

Running Librarian said...

I've heard that chroipractors (sp?) can work to help with allergies and a bunch of other things...ever think about calling to see if they can do anything to help you out? I have not done it..never been to one, but a girl I went to school with is one and always posts about positives about going to see her...I am guessing it wouldn't hurt to make a call though :) Hope you start to have some good runs soon!

Vee said...

Just listen to your body. You were doing well, but pushing it and then the allergies kicked up (mine too ... triple time this year) and stopped you cold. It's not a failure. It could be a postponement. Or rescheduling ... is there another one a month later you could sign up for? Would an additional month give your bod time to recuperate?

Of course, I'm not a runner and not much of any kind of athlete so I could be very wrong.

Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

Middle Name Marie said...

I am sorry you are struggling. Have you thought about anemia? When I struggled with it, I confused my tired, heavy legs and lack of air in my longs with mental weakness. Really my organs weren't working properly because they weren't getting enough oxygen from my red blood cells. Just a thought. I hope it is not anemia and that a good taper will make you feel better.

Donna said...

Your previous noter's comment about Anemia is so true; I've been training all Summer with it and didn't know! I'm on a supplement stack now, and hope it will be enough to bring it up (I was on the low end).

I did my first half marathon last year and each time I take on a new challenge (I'm doing my first half-iron distance tri in 2 weeks!). I go through this roller coaster of emotions. Some days I love it all and some days I'm cursing it, but in the end I have to be out there doing it. :) I could be cussing a blue streak during the run of a tri, but can't imagine not doing it at all.

So much of endurance sports is mental and it sounds to me like you get that, and know this is just momentary.

Push through; you're strong. I can tell :)

bobbi said...

I'm so sorry this has been so rough for you...I hope you get some answers soon! And some relief too...

ann said...

you can do it! Take it easy and do some positive mental imagining :)

ann said...

you can do it! Take it easy and do some positive mental imagining :)

WannabeRunner said...

Hang in there - i definitely know about frustrating runs. :P Hopefully you'll get your "groove" back & if not, try not to stress! (Easier said than done, i know!)

Tish said...

Hey Carly, take care of yourself. If you're still sick (sinus infection, allergies) or recovering you might not be able to run the marathon. Not the end of the world. You're young, you have other races in your future Think about why you're running. Is it for fitness and help with weight loss? Then you don't have to run 26.1, just hang in there and run short distances regularly. It'll be much easier to run long distances when you get more fit and lose weight. (I've lost 27 pounds over the summer and, believe me, it's a heck of a lot easier to run now than it was in May.) I laughed at your "only 16"--I've never run that far. Good luck, whatever you do. Take care of yourself.

teacherwoman said...

I am sorry that you are struggling with your running. I have never done a marathon, so I am of no help what-so-ever. I hope things work out for the best!

lindsay said...

Hang in there Carly. We wouldn't be runners if we had common sense :)

How about you get out a few days mid-week for shorter maintenance runs, get in 16+ this coming weekend, and then "taper" til race day - same shorter mid-week runs, 10-12mi the following weekend/last long run. At least give yourself two days of rest before race day. You can do this!

A few more weeks, one "little" marathon (no biggie right?) and then you can take an off-season if your legs want.

Meg said...

Carly, this is so hard and I know how this feels. Going into a marathon and not feeling strong is no FUN! I hear in your voice/writing that you really want to give it a try though. As long as you don't get worse, go on and have fun with it. Walk if you need to. Enjoy the moments and make the best of it. Sometimes our bodies and our minds can surprise us. Stay well though and listen to your body!!

Julie said...

Hi Carly,
Oh boy, do I understand the not having any common sense when it comes to running! Runners are so bull headed:) I know how it feels to have some crappy runs and what it does to my confidence. Hang in there...keep at it. I totally agree with Meg, you can always walk part of it when you need to. If I end up running it I know that I will be walking some too:) You have the determination and I know you have the right attitude!

Jess said...

You do have some tough work ahead, but you can do it!

Deanna - The Unnatural Mother said...

POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!