Thursday, April 14, 2011

You Got a Purdy Mouth!

Last night after the kiddos were all nestled in bed, Chubby Hubby and I  also settled in for our Wednesday night ritual.  Modern Family.  He popped some of his famous undisclosed amount of butter popcorn for us to have while we camped out in front of the television.  We were not going to have any, but the mood hit us.  Before I could protest, Chubby Hubby was in the kitchen pulling out his beloved popcorn pot.

I hold his popcorn responsible for part of my weight gain (always his fault) because it is so awesome.  It not the healthy air-popped stuff, it is the real deal made on the stove with real oil and real butter.  We got into a bad habit of having it every night.  We were like crack addicts looking for a fix when 8pm rolled around.  Finally, we had a come to Jesus talk about breaking our addiction to this treat because the needle on the scale was going the wrong direction.    We acknowledged we had a problem and we have slowly been weaning ourselves.  We gave in last night and dove into our washing machine sized bowls.

I made a deal with myself that I was only going to have a couple of handfuls.   After my first four handfuls, I promised myself I would not eat more than a third of the bowl.  Okay, half of the bowl.  I finally settled on leaving a few kernels (the unpopped ones).  Just as I was getting to the final fist fulls..... that is when it happened....Divine intervention.  I dropped the popcorn immediately and ran for the bathroom.

I thought I had a hull stuck in my tooth or gum, but some thing felt really wrong.  I was hoping and praying that a little floss would take care of the problem.  I looked in the mirror and my eyes widened with horror.... I realized that half my tooth was GONE!!!!!!!  The worst part about it is that as I was inhaling the popcorn, I must have SWALLOWED my darn tooth (I am not going to look for it...eeew).  

I started FREAKING OUT!  Chubby Hubby sprinted to my side to see what happened and his eyes got really big.  Then my wonderful, supportive husband (sarcasm) started on about root canals, bridges, drills, and fake teeth.  I don't remember much after that except a string of expletive words that I mumble on my way to bed.

This is quite traumatic for me.  I am quite OCD about my teeth.  I have had braces twice as an adult just because one tooth was "not quite right".  I brush and floss and I am very proud of my minimal cavity record (only a couple very minor ones).  My discussions about drugs with my children involve showing them photos of meth mouth.  I mourned when I found out that my oldest needs to visit an orthodontist because his teeth will require quite a bit of work and I found out he is missing one of the permanent adult teeth (Genetic...but not from my gene pool!).  Anyway, I think you get the point that I like my teeth and I am not taking this real well.

I called the dentist last night and left a frantic message.  I promptly started calling their office at 7:30 (they open at 8AM).  I finally got someone on the phone and told them who I was and why I was calling.  The woman on the phone started laughing and stated that she received my insane message that my have included hillbilly as description of the problem.  She then went on to tell me that my dentist was ON VACATION!!!!!!  She could tell I was about to hyperventilate and immediately referred me to another dentist.  We will see what happens today.  Wish me luck and wish me sedatives as I HATE going to the dentist!

I am a huge believer in signs and this sign was loud and clear that I should never eat that popcorn again.  Message heard.  I also like to find silver lining in stories and this story has one as well...Since eating is a bit challenging now, perhaps I will lose some additional pounds.

29 comments:

bobbi said...

ok, for the record, I was LAUGHING before I even started reading your post, just from the title (it's a line that my hubs and I use often)...

POOR YOU! Hopefully the dentist can fix you right up. And then you can blame it all on your husband :)

Tish said...

oh, I'm sorry. Hope things go okay and the substitute dentist can get you all fixed up. I gave up Jordan Almonds for the same sort of reason. I lost half of a molar that just cracked off. My DIL lost a front tooth when she got hit by an SUV while jogging (her only injury), she has an implant that looks perfect. You can't even tell. Good luck.

Running Down a Dream said...

LOLOL I died laughing reading this. I'm so so sorry about your tooth, but I love that you called the dentist saying you look like a hillbilly. Hilarious.

You will have a perfect smile again in no time. Dentists are like magicians!

Marlene said...

OH no! I'm so sorry!! I am a freak about teeth too, but I'm sure they can fix you right up. And NO MORE POPCORN!

misszippy said...

Oh no! I would be freaking out too! You poor thing...hope it all gets fixed asap!! (and it was a really funny post, if nothing else, right?)

termite said...

LMAO! no biggie. get the toofers fixed and go back to eatin' your popcorn.

it's yummy. ;D

xo

Jess said...

I totally understand the OCD about teeth. If someone has bad teeth, I totally judge them.

Good luck with the dental appointment! A sub-dentist should be just as good as a regular-ole-dentist!

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

OH MY I would have freaked too!! i was eating one day and realized one of my back teeth and cracked and i FLIPPED... I can't imagine if it had been in front :(

Delane said...

LMAO

FWIW I had invisligns as and adult and I'm about to go back for round 2 since one of my teeth is still crooked.

Evolving Through Running said...

Oh man - that sucks. I'm a little compulsive about my teeth too, so this one hit too close to home. Hope things went OK at the dentist. Damn you popcorn and your buttery goodness ...

Karen said...

oh no! Dentists aren't allowed to go on vacation! Thank goodness there was a back up plan... Hope it wasn't too bad.

I can't blame you for being tempted y the popcorn. We were in that same habit for what seemed like weeks. LOVE popcorn made the old fashioned way!

Cathy said...

That picture cracks me up, and I'm sure you look nothing like that! Sorry to hear about your tooth. Dentists can do wonders to make it look perfect again!

Diana said...

I broke so many teeth over the years eating corn nuts! My dentist's number was on my speed dial.....

Luther Towler said...

This is SO FUNNY! So sorry about your teeth. How many teeth cracked off?? That's quite unimaginable, but the HillBilly made it clear. Haha! How are your teeth now?

Anonymous said...

Hello, I would like to subscribe for this weblog to obtain newest updates, therefore where can i do it please assist.
My web site - how to download movies

Anonymous said...

When someone writes an post he/she retains the idea of
a user in his/her brain that how a user can understand it.
So that's why this post is great. Thanks!
My blog post drum tobacco review

Anonymous said...

I quite like looking through an article that will make men
and women think. Also, thanks for permitting me to comment!
Here is my weblog ... borkum riff

Anonymous said...

Link exchange is nothing else however it is just placing the other person's blog link on your page at suitable place and other person will also do similar for you.
Stop by my blog - http://www.yourtobaccosstore.com

Anonymous said...

Whoa! This blog looks just like my old one! It's on a completely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Superb choice of colors!
Also visit my webpage ... amphora tobacco

Anonymous said...

Wow that was odd. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn't show up. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all that over again.
Anyway, just wanted to say excellent blog!
My website : 50 cent tattoo removal

Anonymous said...

It is in reality a nice and useful piece of info. I'm satisfied that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
my web page - skin whitening

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for your
next write ups thank you once again.
Also see my webpage - male breast reduction

Anonymous said...

I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought
this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you're going to a famous blogger if you aren't already ;)
Cheers!
Also see my site :: mac baren

Anonymous said...

I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it.
I have you bookmarked to look at new stuff you post…
Here is my homepage :: golden virginia

Anonymous said...

You actually make it appear really easy together with your
presentation but I find this topic to be actually something that I believe I'd never understand. It kind of feels too complex and extremely wide for me. I'm looking forward in your next put up, I will try
to get the cling of it!
Here is my web site : http://articlejournals.com/

Anonymous said...

It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it's time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!
My homepage : get rid of acne fast

Anonymous said...

It is actually a great and useful piece of info. I'm happy that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.
Also see my page - http://bostaditurkiet.net/

Anonymous said...

Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this,
like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is
fantastic blog. A great read. I will definitely be back.
Feel free to surf my weblog : skin brightening

Anonymous said...

When we finally consider the specification of the word like, with comparison to its an enchanting romance by using a different, nevertheless as being a emotion that is certainly engendered for those who have miltchmonkey the best marriage with ourselves very , and even as a experience of higher oneness with the fam or maybe human race -- therefore it turns into far more really clear that someone is looking to get in daily life is really enjoy.