Thursday, July 19, 2012

Luna Chix Mini Triathlon Report

On Tuesday night I got a taste of what a triathlon is all about.  Team Luna Chix put on a mini triathlon as a fundraiser for breast cancer.  I took advantage of this opportunity to see how a really tri goes down.  This team of women and fellow tri participants were super helpful by giving tips and trick as well as answering newbie questions.  I am glad I did because I truly had no idea what to expect. 

It was a casual event that was laid out by a 400 yard swim, 8 mile bike, and a 2 mile run.  It was not mandatory to do those distances.  We were told to do the distances we were comfortable with and/or skip events that we didn't want to do.  Sweet deal.

The following is my experience in real time thoughts.

SWIM {400 Yards}
Wow, there are a lot of fit people here that look like real swimmers.  Awesome....a demonstration, I have always wondered what "dolphining is" and how to get started with the swimming.  Um, no.  I will not be dolphining.  Was the the starting bell?  Okay, you ladies just go....I will be right behind you.  Why does that lady keep telling me to go???   I am going in the water but I just need to wait for the other ladies to swim out a little further.  I don't want to be too close and bump anyone.

Alright, this isn't that bad, the water is okay and I can walk out as far as I need to.  I can walk out to my eyeballs, right?  Okay, this is it...I am sw.....crap water in my mouth.  COUGH, GAG, COUGH.  Gross, gross, gross....I don't call this dog dump lake for nothing.  GAG.  Lets try that again....go slow Carly, go slow.   It is happening, I am swimming!  Why is this so much work?  Oh look, I am not last.  Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

*Doink*  ooops sorry.  I probably should look where I am going.  How embarrassing, I just about knocked the paddle board lady right off her board.  I am not sure why she is laughing when I pass her doing the doggie paddle, they did say do any stroke you feel comfortable doing. Why is this so HARD (that's what she said)!  I crack myself up.

Thank God, I can touch the lake bottom.  I am walking it in.  EEEEWWW  seaweed.  Wait, walking is almost harder.  I am going to swim/walk....that way I look like I am swimming but my feet are moving me faster.  Ahhhhh.... time to leave the lake.  Yay!  Finally!  Alleluia!

Whoa....running toward my bike after this swim is harder that the swim.  Jell-O legs.  Why is there a photographer taking my photo?  Don't flip him will probably end up on Facebook.  I can be done now, this tri stuff is not for me.  I am tired and why the hell is my bike so far away?  Sweet!  There are a couple of bikes left on the rack, I don't want to be the last one. 

BIKE {8 Miles}
Maybe I should have wiped down my feet a little bit better, my socks are more than  little wet.  OMG, what is wrong with my legs and when did biking get so damn hard?  Phew, I am finally in my groove.  What the?  Why are my pedals stuck?  For the love of Christ, Green Beast (green beast=my bike) don't fail me now!!!  Great, the chain is effed up.  Maybe if I futz with it it will be fine.  Okay...that was easy, lets get back on course.  Do I hear crickets?  Am I going the right way?  Everyone has passed me.  Every single person.  Geez, this course sure is lonely.  Oh look....a Luna person and they are cheering me on.  She totally just gave me the sympathetic head nod and told me I look great.  Sympathy worked, I feel like I am peddling faster.  Great.  Look at all the women coming back from the turnaround already.  Crap. 

Eff this, I am turning around.  The last thing I need is to be stuck miles away from the start with a bike that may or may not get me there.  This is okay now.   Hmmmmm I am still DFL though (dead effing last) but at least I can see other people.  Almost done......I see the transition....and done.  (I cut a mile off the bike)


GET ME OFF THIS EFFING BIKE! the hell do I hang this bike again?  I sure hope I didn't hurt that really expensive looking bike next to mine.  Ready, set, and I am off...oops forgot to take off my helmet.  Thankfully I only made a few steps before someone was yelling at me to take it off I realized it was still on my head. 

RUN {2 Miles}
Finally I know what I am doing.  I got this.....wait are my legs moving?  I gotta walk. I am moving faster when I am walking.  No really, I should be able to run.  I just crushed my 2 mile personal record this past weekend running, I can do this.  Jog to that tree over there....just a little furth....annnnnnd I am walking again.  Oh look, there is that nice lady that was on the paddle board in the water....she is cheering me on (with the sympathetic head tilt).  I see Leah!!!  That bitch is so quick and she is on her way back from the turnaround already.   Hmmmmpf.   I should trip her and then I won't be dead last.  She might be mad if I did that.  That was sure nice of her to let me know that the turnaround is a half mile ahead.  I may die before I see it. 

Just run. Just run. Just run.

Oh I just passed someone, and two more people, and another!!!  I am almost done!  I see the finish and I am not quitting now.  Just a few more steps and I am there!

WOOO HOOO!  I am done and never doing one ever again.  Oh wait, I have one on 8/12.  Shit.  After that, never again!!!*

  • It is really really really hard
  • I need to do my brick workouts
  • I need better tri clothes
  • I need swimming lessons
  • I need a better bike
  • I need a million dollars to be a tri athlete
  • Team Luna Chix is an awesome organization!!!

*I say never again all while I am looking for a tri bike.


James said...

Congrats and good luck on the next one. :)

Michelle Dragoo said...

Wow girl! Are you training for a full tri? Kudos to you! And great job in your mini tri! I'd have drowned lol!

TNTcoach Ken said...

Love those post tri thoughts, I almost spit out my drink!

Tammy said...

Awesome. I love the commentary!

OK, I'm cured of the thoughts of "maybe" when it comes to a tri. (Not to mention I can't swim. At all)

Ellen said...

Don't worry so much about the bike - there will be lots of people on mountain bikes. As long as you get some work outs on it, you'll do fine. After the first one - that's when you buy one!

I ended up riding around and around in my garage when I bought my first road bike because it had clip less pedals and I didn't want to fall down on the street in front of other people!

Diana said...

What a bummer....sounds like your heart didn't get completely engrossed in the sport! After my first one I couldn't wait to sign up for more! Funny how everyone hates the swimming.....I'm the Incredible Mrs. Limpit I guess!
Shrug off the dust from this one, at least you now know where you need to brush up!

Megsie said...

YOU DID IT! Be proud! I am duly impressed with you as always. Way to go! I would be happy to give you swimming lessons from the side of a pool...

Donna said...

Congrats on your first finish. Nice race report -- you had me cracking up! The first one is for finishing. Now you have a baseline! I hope you choose to do another. The 2nd experience is really soooo much better!

TIM said...

I wonder if i would have gone anywhere. This triathlon race sounds so hard for an average person like me. I am so proud of you for trying and finishing. Even if you did not win this triathlon race you learnt something new. Perhaps you will try it again in the future. You never know. Anyway congratulations to you and thanks a lot for sharing your experience.