Fifty Shades of Grey......Running Style

I woke up Sunday morning and pulled the sheets over my eyes trying to shut out the daylight creeping in the room through the slats of the blinds. Though he wasn't physically near me, I felt his presence and his disappointment that I was neglecting our contract. After all, I did sign my life away for a minimum of 18 weeks to be submissive to his demands. I bit my lip and said "Mr Higdon, give it to me". OH MY......an 18 miler, I flushed with fear and began to quake with excitement.

I jumped out of bed and quickly dressed in a short black running skirt and a pink tank the matched my flushed cheeks. I slowly slid on my black compression sleeves over my tight calves and wondered if they would be able to hold up during today's escapade.  My thoughts turned to Mr. Higdon.  How does an old man that I have never met have so much control over me? How did I let myself go down this marathon path again? I am aching for the climax of the event and only Mr Higdon can be my guide. I bit my lip as I tied my running shoes and slammed a 5 Hour Energy......... and I was going to need all the energy I could get.  My inner goddess was finally ready for what he had in store for me.  OH MY! 

I started slow and light on my feet.  I was shuffling on air and really getting in it for the first few miles.  Then it got steamy...really steamy.  I was dripping.   "I am hot" I murmured as I wiped the salty sweat off my brow.  My inner goddess was not going to let a little heat ruin the 18 mile punishment laid out by Mr Higdon.  I needed to quench my thirst and I breathlessly sauntered into a gas station and grabbed a Gatorade.  I drank  in all of the sweetness and continued on my way.  I was rejuvenated and ready for more. 

Then it got too hot for even my inner goddess.  I bit my lip and made the ultimate decision to walk for a little while.  It was starting to hurt.  The punishment was almost too much for me to bear.  The underparts of my arms started getting really hot from my shirt rubbing on them. The unrelenting friction of my shirt against my wet, wet skin brought me to tears.  Ooooohhhh ahhhhhh, I moaned as I ran through the pain.  "Dammit, I forgot the Bodyglide", I murmured to myself.
 The heat and the pain from my raw skin darkened my thoughts.  The negative energy was killing the mood.  Every time I would find my rhythm, it wouldn't be long before I would have to stop.  "Just a little more", I murmured, "Just a little more".  I cried as I forced my body to do things it has not done for a very long time.  I pushed a bit more and I finished.  My inner goddess was going crazy and I collapsed out of exhaustion.....OH MY....that was amazing!  Thank you Mr. Higdon for pushing me out of my comfort zone.

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This past weekend I wanted to see what the hype of Fifty Shades of Grey was all about.  I read it but kept rolling my eyes (which would have gotten me spanked in the book) and giggled my ass off through most of it (actually, I bit my lip**snort**).  For me, it has to be one of the worst books I have ever read.  It is right up there with the Terry Hitchcock book (just with more cock, hehe).

Thoughts?  Have you read this book?  If you loved it (and millions of people do), what I am missing?  I feel like I am one of the only ones in the world that is not raving about it.

Use Your Words-Writers, This is for YOU!

The virtual book tour bus is making another stop at Chubby Chicks Run Too...  Today I will be discussing Use Your Words, A Writing Guide for Mothers.  This is no ordinary book review, there will be a little writing contest as well (see details below)!!!

I had an opportunity to review Use Your Words, A writing Guide for Mothers.  While this book focuses on the topics surrounding Motherhood, it can be translated to any aspect to your life....Mother or not, there is a lot to get out of this book.  It is designed to be a guide for get the creative juices flowing by getting the words of your life out and your stories told.

I need to confess that I am not done with the book so I can't critique it line by line.  But I will say, I am loving it so far. This book is helping me overcome my crazy case of writers block.  I have always loved writing but sometimes I just stare at a blank page or I am just too darn tired to care.  Each chapter has writing exercises and fantastic examples from other authors telling their stories.  One quote that stuck out was a quote from Patricia Hampl when discussing a first draft ... "I haven't yet gotten to know it, haven't given it a chance to tell me anything".  That was kind of an "A-HA" (Oprah shudder) moment because for me writing has become a form of self discovery and not just a way to clutter up the Internet with my random thoughts.  Those words made stop and realize that my time spent plugging away telling stories is more than just a time suck.

 Who is  Kate Hopper?
Kate Hopper teaches writing online and at The Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis, where she lives with her husband and two daughters. Kate holds an MFA in creative writing from the University of Minnesota and has been the recipient of a Fulbright Scholarship, a Minnesota State Arts Board Grant, and a Sustainable Arts Grant. Her writing has appeared in a number of journals, including Brevity, Literary Mama, and The New York Times online. She is an editor at Literary Mama. For more information about Kate’s writing and classes, visit www.katehopper.com.

On a personal note, I got to meet Kate Hopper at the Train Like a Mother Tour Party a few weeks ago. She is as down to earth as they come and hysterical! Plus, she lives in one of the coolest places on earth (Minneapolis) and is a fellow University of Minnesota Alumni(Go Gophers!). How is that for name dropping????  She teaches some classes locally and it is on my list to attend one of them (perhaps then I can learn to properly string sentences together and clean up my grammar).


Now for the exciting part.....
It is your turn to show off  YOUR writing skills.  Grab your laptop or a trusty pen and paper and get started. 
In 600 words or less,think about the time when your child (or one of your children) was born, when she first arrived home, or even before she was born. If you adopted your child, maybe you want to focus on the first time you saw her photo. Is there a certain smell, sound, taste, texture, or picture that comes to mind? Start with that. Write it down. What other concrete details do you remember? Let your mind wander. Jump from image to image. Try to use as many sensory, concrete details as you can. Don’t pick up your pen—just keep moving it across the paper—and don’t worry about grammar or spelling.
If those early days and months feel too far removed, choose another period in your child’s life that seemed particularly vivid to you, and begin writing details from that time.

Email your submission to me at fatrunnergirl@yahoo.com.  I will choose the winning submission on May 31st.  The winning submission will win a copy of Use Your Words, A Writing Guide for Mother and be considered for the GRAND PRIZE.  Grand Prize,you ask?  The author, Kate Hopper, will review all of the winning submissions on the book tour and choose the best one for publication on the online magazine Literary Mama....PLUS a one hour phone consultation.  That seems like a pretty cool deal to me!!

Can't wait?  Interested in the book right now?  It can be purchased through Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Thank you Kate Hopper for sharing your awesome book with my blog and I truly enjoyed being a stop on the Virtual Book Tour!!!!!

Disclaimer #1:  I was given a digital copy of Use Your Words, A Writing Guide for Mothers to review, the opinions are my own.
Disclaimer #2:  I hosting the writing contest, however, the prizes will come from the author directly.
Disclaimer#3:  Photo and You Tube Credit of motherhoodandwords.com and Kate Hopper.
Disclaimer#4:  I like to write but do not pretend that I am good at it.  I apologize for the the attention deficit writing style(lots of dot dot dots), the  horrendous usage of grammar, and potential spelling errors.

Weekend Wrap-up

I ran 18 miles today.  EIGHTEEN FREAKING MILES!!!!  This is the furthest I have run in a year and a half (honestly, I am not sure if I have ever hit anything over 16 miles in any marathon training I have done).  I am pretty excited that it didn't suck at all.  I felt great the whole time.  My time wasn't anything to brag about but I am going to blame part of that on the route I chose.  I ran through three cities today, Richfield, Minneapolis, and Bloomington.  I ran primarily on busy streets and ran into a lot of stop lights.  It was kind of cool to run in three cities but I wasted a lot of time at cross walks and I won't do that again.

This long run was made possible by the following products:

• Ibuprofen*  I don't usually pop vitamin I before a run, but today my run depended on it.5 hour energy-AKA liquid crack....it was a nice little pick me up to get me going.
• Biofreeze-Worked well with the Ibuprofen on my ankle
• Body Glide-this needs no explanation
• Flovent-It is allergy season and it helps me breath
• GU-I love the Espresso Love!
• Margarita Shot Bloks-These things rock at preventing cramps
• My Shuffle

Looking at this list, I realize I am kind of high maintenance or at least I was today.

I took a huge gamble on this run and it in brand new shoes.  I know this is not the thing to do to break in new kicks.  I bought them yesterday and I was ranting and raving about how much I hated my old shoes to the sales person.  I told him that they brought bad juju since I wore them in my DNF Twin Cities Marathon last October.  I went on to explain that all of my long runs have sucked every time I wore these shoes therefore they must be cursed.  He politely smiled (and maybe rolled his eyes) and went to get me some new shoes to try.

He was very helpful and got me back into some Sauconys.  I mentioned that I had an 18 mile run today and he told me DO NOT run that distance in brand new shoes.  I responded "okay".  He looked at me and said "you are going to run in them tomorrow, aren't you?"  I just smiled....the bad juju shoes are gone.
In with the new.....

Out with the old.....

I hope my new shoes will bring me a lot more luck with Grandmas in less than 4 weeks!

Weekend Wrap-up

Happy Mother's Day!

I had a wonderful weekend with my family in Duluth. Today I had a liquid breakfast with my mom. I drank a massive scewdriver before 9AM and I might have been a little drunk.

The children and Chubby Hubby gave me tickets to see Kid Rock. I am so excited....I love him!

Back to running..

LONG RUN IN PHOTOS

This weekend on the training calendar was 16 miles. After a bit (a lot) of procrastination, I hit the bricks. I decided to tour my old neighborhood and took my phone with me to snap some photos (and maybe call for a ride home).

The fist part of my run was on the Munger Trail. It was nice and quiet but I was scared out of my mind. Why? Because my dad told me to watch out for bears. BEARS. They have been out and about and they have had them in their yard. I can tell you that I would die of heart attack before the bear could ever get to me. I prefer running I a city setting and rarely have to worry about wildlife. This was a nice change (especially without a bear sighting).

CRAP! I saw this sign just as i was getting into my groove. I kept going and ignored the sign.

I made it back to a busier street and ran past a local watering hole.......ahhhhhh memories.

Smelt fry anyone? Is there another place in the world where they have smelt fries? WTF is a smelt fry?

My high School.....one of the coolest buildings. Well, sort of....this was a beautIful, historic building and now there are all sorts of new additions that do not match the school. It would make an architect throw up. But, it was still cool to hit up my old stomping grounds.

This was were I ran in high school. I was hooked up to parachutes and harnesses and forced to run up and down the football field. My coach had some.....ummmm.....interesting workouts. The track used to be gravel....the kids now have a beautiful one.

I had to be scrapped off the ground at the end....

I am not sure why this run was so hard. The first half was okay but my legs were like lead toward the end of the run. I sad part is, I only ran 12.54 miles. I decided to do an out and back course to my old high school. As it runs out, it was only 6.5 ish miles out and not 8 miles like I had thought. Oops...I guess I will map it out next time. Once I hit the high school, I made the executive decision to turn around rather than add another 1.5 miles. It was a major buzz kill that it wasn't as far as I thought it was. What was worse than the difficult, shortchanged run was that it took me damned near 3 hours to complete it!!!

I keep plugging along with this training and as long as I get my medal, I will be happy.  FOUR WEEKS!  GAHHHHHHHH!

TGIF Road Tripping'

There is nothing like a good old fashioned family road trip. Packing up the car and hitting the high road with the anticipation of a relaxing weekend. A happy, excited family discusses how much fun they are going to have at the final destination. The car is packed, gassed up, and filled to the brim with snacks. It is the perfect family memory maker.

Then there are the road trips my family takes (such as the one I am blogging about now).

The minute we shut the last car door, the whining begins. "I need a snack. I have to go potty. He keeps touching me! ". And the kids were A LOT worse.

My brother picked the wrong day to quit smoking. He is stuck in the car with my family including Mischa the car sick dog and the spawn with rotten ass. He is being a pretty good sport and only let out one primal scream when we had to circle back to my house for the third time to retrieve forgotten items. He keeps chanting "Chantix don't fail me now"!

I am thankful that technology is keeping me occupied and ignoring my children. Evidently the Benedryl I hid in their Combos aren't knocking them out. Instead I offered them each $10 to shut up. It didn't work and I had about 30 seconds of silence. I should not be surprised, after all they are the fruit of my loins. It is going to be a VERY long two hour drive.

*disclaimer: I didn't really drug my kids, but I really wanted to!

So anyway....back to random details about me.

I am five days gluten free and maybe it is my imagination but I am feeling great and less bloated.

My running has really SUCKED the last 3 times I went out. My legs have felt like lead and just stopped working when they were done. I did a lot of walking.

Because my runs have sucked, I went to have my iron checked. Good news, my levels are up into the normal range. At least my runs aren't sucking due to anemia as they did last year at this time.

I have 16 miles to do tomorrow. I am trying to decide where I should run while I am out of town. Lord help me.

Well, we are getting close to our destination. Chubby Hubby wouldn't honor my Mother's Day request and drop the kids off on the side of the road so I guess that means I had better go entertain them. Ugh...one of them took off their shoes and now the car smells like feet.

Have a great weekend!!!

Catch All Post

I have been on an unintentional blogging hiatus.  Every time  I sit down to write, I end up staring onto a blank page and I cannot seem to get the words typed.  I have had a lot to blog about, after all, I am training for a marathon.  That in itself has a produces a lot of blogable moments.   I don't really have an excuse except....writers block.  So here is another run down of what has been going on in la vida de Carly.

Run Like a Mother
I am currently reading Train Like a Mother.  I will be be posting a review soon.  Just like Run Like a Mother, this book is awesome.  Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea were in Minneapolis for the Get in Gear race.  I was lucky to spend a bit of time with them at a blogger meet up.  A couple of fellow fans had a get together where they read excerpts of their book and I got to hobnob with other bloggers.  I met so many awesome people and that event has rekindled my motivation both for writing and running.

Get in Gear Race
On April 28th, I ran the Get in Gear 10K.  I was a little nervous about my performance because April suuuuucked for training because of various issues including being sick.  I did it and finished in 1:12:06 and it averaged out an 11:37 minutes per mile.  I was happy with those results.  The weather of course was craptastic and rainy as it is every single year.  I do wish I could have come in a little quicker, rather than blame my poor training, I will blame Mother Nature.

My Last Long Run
I was under the impression that my performance at Get in Gear would set up a decent long run for me this past Sunday.  I don't think I have EVER had such a bad run in my life.  I conquered 13.54 miles in just shy of a week.  It was definitely a "board the sag wagon" pace.  I did fine until I hit mile 10 and then I could hardly muster up the energy to walk.  When I look back I believe it was some stomach issues cause the demise of the run.  I will state the following PSA:  antibiotics, GU, and Gatorade are not a good combo for the stomach.  Just sayin'.  If I would have had my phone, I would have called a cab home.  Oh well, one bad run is not going to kill me.

Gluten Free
I am experimenting with my diet by going gluten free.   I have a habit of self diagnosing medical issues on WebMD.  In fact, I do refer to myself as Dr. Carly I.M. (Internet Medicine).  Anyway....I was browsing the symptom finder to look up some of the weird issues I have been having...such as my gastro problems, my chronic low iron, headaches, irritability,and fatigue.  Gluten intolerance kept coming up as a possible diagnosis.  With all of my food allergies and sensitivities, this would not be a far stretch.  So rather than paying a doctor visit copay for them to tell me to try eliminating gluten, I am going to give it a test run to see if I notice any changes.  The worst thing that can happen is I end up eating more vegetables and unprocessed food (well if I still have some of these problems, then I guess that could be bad).  I am interested to see how I feel in the next 4-6 weeks.  I realize that doing it during marathon training may or may not be the best idea.....but that is how I roll. 

I am on day three of my gluten free endeavor and I am craving a salt bagel like crazy things are going fine. I did have a farewell bowl of Kraft Mac&Cheese and washed it down with a Summer Shandy.  Has anyone else gone gluten free just because and what was your result?

Other Stuff

• Hockey is over!  This crazed hockey mom is ready for a break.  I am excited because the children do not have ANY activities until July.  Give me a few days home with them and I am sure I will be signing them up for something...anything to burn off the hyperactivity.
• Speaking of hyperactive....I am so proud of my boys.  They ran the mile at school.  My oldest did it in 7:50 and my other son did it in 8:10.  When I was ooohhing and ahhhhhing about their times (mostly because those are times I will never see in this lifetime), a dad rolled his eyes and said that is an average time for a mile.  I acknowledged his statement by saying it was true for most people, but this snail of a runner thinks that is an incredible time and I am still proud.  Plus my kids beat the pants off of his kid in the mile.  ha!
• I am supposed to run 9 miles tonight.
• Pardon the bad grammar and spelling errors.  I didn't proofread.