Thursday, August 29, 2013

Guest Post-Find Your Mama Grove

Today I am hosting a virtual blog tour for Megan Flatt of Find Your Mama Grove .  She discusses a topic that hits close to home for me, the "I am always crazy busy but never get anything accomplished" syndrome.  I know I am not alone when I say I feel frustrated that all I do is chauffeur kids, work, and (try) to maintain some sort of order in my house...not to mention that my to do list never seems to get done (or even half way done for that matter).  I am honored that she is here to share some of her insight and promote her free course "The Well Crafted To Do List".  Since I life has taken me away from blogging for a bit, I will sit back, take some good notes, and let Ms. Flatt take the wheel on this post.

Thank you to  Emily Hedges of Hedges Virtual Book Tours for introducing me to Megan Flatt and arranging this stop on the tour.

Finding My Mama Groove (And You Can Find Yours Too!)

By Megan Flatt

I sat in my driveway and sobbed.

I wasn't unhappy.  I had two of the most awesome little people I had ever met in the back seat and I am lucky to spend so much time with them.  I have a wonderful supportive husband, a great community of friends and a loving family.

But I wasn't fulfilled.

I wasn’t totally sure why I was crying, but four months into my second daughter's life I knew something was missing.

Between potty training and park dates, a part time job and all my household responsibilities and I was so busy, but I didn’t feel like I was accomplishing anything.

I was drinking too much coffee and eating too much take-out, all in an effort to eek more time out of my day.

I was in a rut.

I realized I wanted my kids to be my greatest accomplishment, but not my only accomplishment. 

I knew I could give them the world, without giving up mine.

I need to find my groove, my Mama Groove.

Your Mama Groove is not about wanting anything different from our job as a mom, it’s about wanting more. 

I put myself on a mission to Find My Mama Groove and although it is an ongoing process, I have come so far since sobbing in my driveway. Now, I want to help you Find Your Mama Groove too.

The Cinderella Factor
Moms are hardwired to take care of everyone else.  We put everyone else’s needs above our own. I call this the Cinderella Factor.  Remember, Cinderella’s Wicked Stepmother never said she couldn’t go to the ball, she just told her she had to finish an exorbitantly long list of chores first, so when she couldn’t get everything done, it was Cinderella’s own fault.
So we tell ourselves we can take a bubble bath or call a girlfriend or start our dream business, but after our “chores” are done.
The problem is, our “must dos” are never done.  There is always more laundry, another school project to complete or another trip to the grocery store.
We have to make a conscious and continued effort to make room for our “want-to-dos” despite the list of must dos.
If Mama is taking care of herself, her family will reap the benefits, over and over again.
So, where do you start?

Find What Excites You
Spend some time brainstorming things that you would do if you “had more time.”  We all have things at the back of our minds we’d love to try or love to try again if only we had more time.  Your “thing” doesn’t have to be profound, or make sense or change the world.  It just has to be something that makes you smile to think about and makes you feel more fulfilled.

You can be an AWESOME mom while still pursuing the things that excite you.

Ask for Support
A friend of mine went back to a dance class she had not attended since the birth of her son 5 years ago.  She told her husband she was going and asked him to not let her get out of it.  She told me she sobbed the entire drive home with joy from her hour-long class and wondered why she had taken so long to get back there.

Don’t Be Afraid To Change Your Plan
Another mom had been an accomplished artist before kids, but hadn’t picked up her paints in over a year.  After trying to squeeze in a messy painting session during naptime, she realized painting was going to be challenging while her child was so young.  However, instead of throwing in the towel on her dreams, she picked up a sketchbook and started drawing every day until it makes sense to get back to painting.

Just Do Something
While helping her kids with homework one evening, a busy mom flipped over a discarded math worksheet and started outlining an idea for a children’s book she had been percolating in her head for years.  Getting the rough framework out on paper was enough inspiration for her to sign up for a weekly writing class and pursue a dream of writing children’s books.

Say “No” to Mommy Guilt
Don't fall for the Mommy Guilt trap that you don't have enough time or you'll do it when the kids are older.  Your kids need a happy, fulfilled mother now. 

There is a Chinese proverb that says, “You can’t give from an empty vessel.” 

Take some time to fill your own vessel and you’ll find yourself more fulfilled, less “busy” and in your own Mama Groove.

One final piece to Finding Your Mama Groove included keeping a Well Crafted To-Do List.  Need ideas on how well crafted lists can make your life run more smoothly?

Join Megan, for a FREE week-long workshop (Sept 2-6th) to learn the Art of the Well Crafted To-Do List.   Make sure your to-do lists are meaningful, efficient and actionable. 

You’ll receive daily prompts, and list making worksheets via email. And conclude the week with a live implementation webinar to put it all together in real time. 

By the end of this free course, you’ll have a well-crafted to-do list, to help you stream line your must-dos and make room for your want-to-dos.

You can register for free here:

Megan Flatt is a Mama Strategist and a wellness expert. She helps busy moms rediscover what fulfills them, and then find the time and energy to pursue that passion…without the guilt! She believes as moms, we can give our kids the world, without giving up our own.  She loves vanilla lattes, her iPhone, and books meant for 13-year-old girls. Megan lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her two amazing kids and her awesome husband. You can learn more about her at or join the conversation on Facebook (


becomingmegsie said...

Oooooh. I have never heard of the Cinderella Syndrome before. Awesome.

Soupy said...

Thank you for posting this, Carly. Honestly, I went back to work this week and it's been hell-so glad to read this! I know the feeling of crying with disappointment (THIS IS MY LIFE?) but I'm also finding my passions and I'm so happy that I am. It takes a lot of work (WHY!? DAMNIT!) but this helps me feel more sane!

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Kate Parker said...

great blog!

mandybright232 said...

Thank you for this Carly. I think two areas I really fail on are finding what excites me, and asking for support. I know that I've got to put myself out there more so thanks for the kick up the bottom :)


John said...

Tremendous blogging....
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